How do we go about profiling ourselves? What do we want others to know and ultimately appreciate about us? Words are so fun, yet so damned intimidating.
At last, I think I have found the right words to express my soft and fluffy self.
If you’re looking for Barbie – I ate her for breakfast. (Just kidding. I prefer dark meat).
My friends describe me as fun, witty, intelligent, optimistic and kindhearted. My guiding principle is integrity (how you act when no one is looking). I am honest, almost to a fault. I am bold and beautiful, through and through. I know who I am and what I want. Most people are attracted to my sense of humor (as twisted as it can sometimes be), my easy-going nature, overall lightheartedness and electric spiritual energy.
I am fun to be around and have no problem with making friends socially, professionally or otherwise. I am an eternal optimist and can find the positive in any situation.
And I hate to shop. Sorry, fellas. (No, seriously).
I am a divorced mother of three children – but don’t run for the hills just yet – I’m not looking for a “baby daddy.” Their father is an active and integral part of their daily lives. We shared 15 years of marriage – now we share 50/50 custody weeks. Now, having every other week off from motherhood, I really have some time to explore new relationships.
Honestly, I never thought I would ever be here – single. I was a devoted wife and mother who worked hard to maintain a beautiful home, have fun, set a good example for my children, and gave everything I had to everyone else. Everyone else but me. I learned rather quickly that by sacrificing my happiness for the sake of my family, I wasn’t doing anyone any favors. Ultimately, my (ex) husband found comfort in the arms of another woman (for the second time) and I found comfort in kicking his ass to the curb.
Personal growth. Respect. Honesty. Integrity. Loyalty. Humor. Kindness. Non-judgment. Drama free. These things are all personal qualities I possess, and offer my future partner, and what I will expect in return. I drink on occasion and hope to quit smoking for good someday. My partner will be comfortable leading by example and being a positive role model for everyone else in the family.
If you are an addict or an alcoholic, I’m not the girl for you.
I love to fish, hike and camp, and snuggle next to a warm fire. I am equally comfortable at home and in bed. I love good sex and never claim to have a headache. Actually, orgasm produces oxytocin, which eliminates headaches, so women who claim to have a headache just plain irritate me.
I am looking for romance, chivalry, passion, adventure, a fabulous sense of humor, intelligent conversation, shared interests and a joke (dirty or otherwise) from time to time. I love to have fun, laugh, play, kiss, hug, hold hands, eat great food, enjoy a drink here or there, and make people laugh. I used to be an adrenaline junkie and have gone skydiving, bungee jumping and rock climbing. I don’t do it any more, but it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t again. I face my fears head on – except for spiders – that would be your job.
I am a pretty good shot when it comes to billiards, but not so much with a .357 – not for lack of trying. I play an average game of chess and enjoy games like cribbage, scrabble, and trivial pursuit. One game of pictionary had me laughing so hard, I farted loud enough for everyone to hear. Now that was fun!
Is it too early to mention power tools?
I live in a small mountain town in Southwest Colorado. I don’t make a lot of money, but I have a job that makes me happy and affords me the opportunity to make a difference in my own community. I am a good listener, attentive, ready to make the quick decision if need be, and can remain calm and resilient in a crisis.
I’m not sure I can successfully navigate a long distance relationship, but I am willing to try. If the opportunity presents itself, and Mr. Right On The Button sweeps me off my feet, relocation is a welcomed possibility.
If you like your women full-figured (soft and fluffy) then please, by all means, inquire within.
© 2015 – P.C. Shoffner
This work by Patricia C. Shoffner is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Based on a work at http://www.pcshoffner.com.
Life is an F-Word! 